idk

I've just gotten home.
I will make this post in English, because that will reach out the most, even if Swedish feels more close to heart and appropriate.
I was really looking forward to today's Korean class. I had been hanging out with the girl who I wanted to befriend the most after the previous lecture. I had several tactics in my head to make her sit next to me, but she never showed up and I remained alone. After class I messaged her through facebook, but still no answer.
I messaged her about meeting the guy from the pub we went to Tuesday. I met him alone. He wasn't at all as fun as last (and first) time. First time he showed knowledge in culture and politics. I like such kind of people. This time he showed no skills. He was boring, underestimating my knowledge in games and brain capacity. And at our greeting and farewell moments he hugs, even though we've only met once. And this time when we said goodbye he touched my hair... So wrong... Only someone in a relationship with me can do that without asking for permission. And he tried to grab my hands when the hug was over. I made sure to slip them through. Maybe he has some problems reading signals... Don't work very well with those kinds of people.
After approx. one hour I decided to leave. I got on the train and told myself to not see him again. Boys are disgusting.
At my end station, a girl approached me and asked to borrow my phone to call her brother.
"Sure, but why?"
"I don't wanna say"
"Oh, my phone is new and expensive so you..."
"I'm not gonna steal it"
"That wasn't what I was gonna..."
"I'm a Christian. I wouldn't..."
"You being Christian tells me nothing. Christians are very different"
"But I'm... Are you Christian?"
"No"
"But I'm Christian, I wouldn't..."
Somehow we made this conversation while I was trying to catch my phone out of my bag. I handed it over.
With the person she had called, she started talking about killing herself. How she had been to a bridge. Left a suicide note. That she wouldn't survive the night. I started "wtf" in my head, took eye contact and asked her about it. She asked her brother to pick her up. After she hung up I continued questioning her, asked what she was doing, dragging me into something like this for lending out my phone. She told me to stay out of it. I asked her how and said that it's not possible. She told me she had depression, countered with that I've had one too. I tried to understand, she said she saw demons. Hallucinates. But got angry, started screaming at me to leave her alone. People passed us, and she walked away.
I felt like whatever I would do I would regret this night forever. If I'd run after her she'd start screaming at me again. If I left it all I would regret it surely much more. I didn't know what to do. I stalked her and called the wonderful Mika. I wasn't thinking straight, she told me to call the girl's brother. A genius to me. I called him and asked about what was happening. He was kind of short but told me that she was in good hands, this has been going on for 10 years already. I felt like the girl was out of my control but made him sure I'd be calling tomorrow as well to see how things has gone. That was ok.
I called Mika again and thanked her, told her everything.
We also talked about the disgusting guy at her job coach. He reminds of an earlier pest of mine, but a "more sexy" version... Ugh, or wannabe. Guys, why are you so disgusting...
I also wanted to tell my father about tonight, because... I wanted to see him care about me experiencing something shocking, but he didn't. He is such a harsh person, we are exact opposites.
"Jag kan inte hänga med alla dina nyanser" which is something like "I can't keep up with all your colours" I guess? I don't know if he can't but he surely isn't making any effort.
Also, my day, as other days, started with him being angry at me for stuff that wasn't true. Today he accused me of having had friends home when he wasn't. He had found a receipt (I don't know how) of a 2x pizza buy. Only later he saw that it was one month old. Pizza that I had bought for him and me. So nice.
I'm about to finish this post but I don't know what to say...
Don't take life for granted, it's a wonderful thing, even though it's hard to see sometimes.
Boys are disgusting. I'd like to meet someone who isn't...
It's good to take holiday from your family sometimes...